Palabra del dia: descansar --> to rest
It's funny how things hit us at just the right time it seems, like a kind word, coffee with a friend, a Christmas bonus, or mono. Yes, that's right, mono. And strep too, if you want to be technical about it. For the past two weeks, I have been tired and sick. It allllll started with a golf ball sized swollen lymph node in my neck. I proceeded to buy a half gallon of orange juice and chug it at will, up my vitamins, and try to get extra sleep in an effort to heal my body before it could be taken down. But oh no, this sucker wasn't going to leave my body without a fair fight. Two weeks later the doctor confirmed what I suspected all along (thanks to my boyfriend who gave me the idea): strep and mono. Oh joy, just in time for Christmas.
But really, it couldn't have come at a better time. Kinda sorta, anyway. I don't have to deal with homework or finals or worry about infecting the people in my dorm. I actually have time to rest, sleep ungodly amounts during the day, and claim "mono!!" when the parents ask the kids to do chores. Although it does mean one thing: I can't go to Texas this Christmas to see my Dad's side of the family. Normally, this wouldn't sting so badly. But this year, there's something different. The new baby, the end of an era for me, the fact that for the past 15 years, my brother and I have trekked to Texas the day after Christmas, fighting snowy roads, long lines in the airport, and annoying travelers who are obviously unpracticed at flying. But this year, it will be different. And it hurts and it sucks and I hate it.
In all of this sickness and my intermittent naps, I have had a chance to think. A lot. I have one semester of college left. And that's scary. I have to find something to do that doesn't include William Jewell College next year. In one manner, the world is my oyster. I can do whatever I want. I can fly to Spain and teach for a year, I can establish myself near family and friends in KC, I can get a job in Texas and be close to family I've never had an opportunity to be close to before. If only someone would make the decision for me, that might just be easier. One thing I know for sure: I will not move back home unless absolutely necessary. I must move and live on my own and be independent.
I've also been thinking a lot, due to a brother of mine the same age as me getting married 3 days ago, about marriage. The conclusion I've come to: I am 22 years old. Ain't no way I'm getting married anytime soon. I am too young. I have so much ahead of me, and I am most definitely not ready to tie myself down. No way, no how.
Last thing: life just isn't fair, especially when you are a part of a blended family. For those of you who don't understand that lingo, it means step families. It's something I've come to accept and try to ignore, no matter how much it stares me in the face.
So for now, I'll go take another nap, eat another Christmas cookie, and wrap presents I've been procrastinating on. Merry Christmas!!
24 December 2009
06 November 2009
La musica de mi corazon
Palabra del dia: flamenco --> flamenco, a form of dance originating in southern Spain, called Andulacia
One thing I was able to bring back with me from Spain was a CD called "Cositas Buenas," which is filled with all sorts of different Flamenco songs. While I was in Spain, I had the privilage of taking a Flamenco class from an incredibly talented flamenco dancer. Flamenco is a type of dance that originated in Andulacia, which is the southern part of Spain. It is characterized by specific beats and rhythms, as you can see in the video below. The dancer in this video is named Isabel Bayon. She is a famous Flamenco dancer. Click on the link below to view the video on YouTube. I promise you won't be disappointed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZU4wXqIxVU
At the end of the class, we were required to perform what we had learned for our host families and friends. I have a video of it on Facebook, but I can't figure out how to put it on here. If you're interested in watching my mad skillz, check it out on my Facebook. It's super sweet.
Anyway, the CD that I came back with has been on repeat on my iTunes for the past couple of weeks. Listening to it reminds me of the passion and spirit that come with Flamenco dancing. It helps me to relax and not take things so seriously. And, because I can't understand all of the words in the songs, it's great to study to!
It's incredible how the country, the people, and the traditions that I was introduced to while in Granada keep impacting me to this day, nearly 5 1/2 months later. I am forever changed.
One thing I was able to bring back with me from Spain was a CD called "Cositas Buenas," which is filled with all sorts of different Flamenco songs. While I was in Spain, I had the privilage of taking a Flamenco class from an incredibly talented flamenco dancer. Flamenco is a type of dance that originated in Andulacia, which is the southern part of Spain. It is characterized by specific beats and rhythms, as you can see in the video below. The dancer in this video is named Isabel Bayon. She is a famous Flamenco dancer. Click on the link below to view the video on YouTube. I promise you won't be disappointed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZU4wXqIxVU
At the end of the class, we were required to perform what we had learned for our host families and friends. I have a video of it on Facebook, but I can't figure out how to put it on here. If you're interested in watching my mad skillz, check it out on my Facebook. It's super sweet.
Anyway, the CD that I came back with has been on repeat on my iTunes for the past couple of weeks. Listening to it reminds me of the passion and spirit that come with Flamenco dancing. It helps me to relax and not take things so seriously. And, because I can't understand all of the words in the songs, it's great to study to!
It's incredible how the country, the people, and the traditions that I was introduced to while in Granada keep impacting me to this day, nearly 5 1/2 months later. I am forever changed.
03 November 2009
La vida perfecta
Palabra del dia: feliz!! --> happy!! (exclamation points added for emphasis)
My life has been a whirlwind these past couple of weeks. I'm already 1/4 of the way through my senior year of COLLEGE. I can't believe this. It means I have to find a job. But while everyone else seems to be stressing out about grad school, law school, and finding a job, I find myself surprisingly calm. Sure, every now and again I have a freak out "OH MY GOSH I HAVE TO PAY MY LOANS STARTING SOON!" or "CRAP, MY PARENT'S HEALTH INSURACE WON'T COVER ME IN ABOUT 7 MONTHS!!" moments, but it's okay. For some reason, I know it'll all work itself out. In talking with a close friend of mine today, I was relieved to find that I'm not the only one who is (probably a little too much) laid back about this whole joining-the-real-world thing. And it made me smile.
My plan right now is to go back to Spain. Yep, you read that right. SPAIN. About every 3.654 days it hits me hard, the remembrance of something in my Spanish life last semester. The clacking of my boots on the pavement, the Spanish coffee sitting on my dresser, the flamenco music that has been on repeat (and I'm pretty sure my residents think I'm weird for it...), or simply hearing Spanish spoken. All of these things will put me right back there. And then I miss it, so badly.
Still, I have been able to find little glimpses of contentedness in my everyday life. These include speaking with Nico, the French foreign exchange student who is incredibly interested in learning the English language. Or sitting in on my internship class and talking about language and its many differences. Or going to Los Compas with a friend and talking to the waiters and hearing their Mexican accents. It's like music to my heart!
Back to the word of the day: happy. I am incredibly happy right where I am right now. Sure, my motivation to do anything related to school was left in Spain. And all I want to do is speak Spanish everyday and go have cafe con leche with my friends. But, some pretty great things have happened as of late. You can infer whatever you want to, but I'm just stinking happy. Like, my face hurts from smiling, happy. And it's goooood.
My life has been a whirlwind these past couple of weeks. I'm already 1/4 of the way through my senior year of COLLEGE. I can't believe this. It means I have to find a job. But while everyone else seems to be stressing out about grad school, law school, and finding a job, I find myself surprisingly calm. Sure, every now and again I have a freak out "OH MY GOSH I HAVE TO PAY MY LOANS STARTING SOON!" or "CRAP, MY PARENT'S HEALTH INSURACE WON'T COVER ME IN ABOUT 7 MONTHS!!" moments, but it's okay. For some reason, I know it'll all work itself out. In talking with a close friend of mine today, I was relieved to find that I'm not the only one who is (probably a little too much) laid back about this whole joining-the-real-world thing. And it made me smile.
My plan right now is to go back to Spain. Yep, you read that right. SPAIN. About every 3.654 days it hits me hard, the remembrance of something in my Spanish life last semester. The clacking of my boots on the pavement, the Spanish coffee sitting on my dresser, the flamenco music that has been on repeat (and I'm pretty sure my residents think I'm weird for it...), or simply hearing Spanish spoken. All of these things will put me right back there. And then I miss it, so badly.
Still, I have been able to find little glimpses of contentedness in my everyday life. These include speaking with Nico, the French foreign exchange student who is incredibly interested in learning the English language. Or sitting in on my internship class and talking about language and its many differences. Or going to Los Compas with a friend and talking to the waiters and hearing their Mexican accents. It's like music to my heart!
Back to the word of the day: happy. I am incredibly happy right where I am right now. Sure, my motivation to do anything related to school was left in Spain. And all I want to do is speak Spanish everyday and go have cafe con leche with my friends. But, some pretty great things have happened as of late. You can infer whatever you want to, but I'm just stinking happy. Like, my face hurts from smiling, happy. And it's goooood.
11 October 2009
Estar viva
Palabra del dia: despertar --> to awake
Am I avoiding homework? Well, claro que si! But I have good reason.
I'm sitting in Starbucks (to get away from the dorm for a while) doing homework. This guy comes and sits down in the seat next to me. I've been here for probably about an hour, in this seat at least, and I just introduced myself to him. I wanted to find out where he's from, because he is obviously not from America. He's from Ethiopia. We didn't have a long extensive conversation, but we chatted about school, America, Europe, the usual. But it's probably the highlight of my day.
Everytime I talk with someone about going overseas, or talk to someone foreign, I feel like my heart is being reawakened. I am almost put back in Europe, where I would meet foreigners everyday. The mix of people and the intense amount of diversity made me feel alive. I absolutely love talking with people about their countries, lives, language, and whatever else it is that differs from my seemingly normal American life. It's incredible to me that people who are so different than me have this effect on me, but I'm beginning to think it's for a reason. I'm pretty sure I'm onto something here...
On another note, I had the opportunity to talk to a close friend of mine that I haven't seen in about 10 months the other day. She studied in Granada a year before me. Talking with her made me remember that my experience there was real. She validated all the feelings I have felt for the past 4 1/2 months about missing Granada, confusion about who I am now, and how to move forward. It's like she is reading my mind, literally. I think she might be the only person in America that truely understands how I feel. And I'm extremely thankful for her.
Back to homework I suppose. Que aburrido!!
Am I avoiding homework? Well, claro que si! But I have good reason.
I'm sitting in Starbucks (to get away from the dorm for a while) doing homework. This guy comes and sits down in the seat next to me. I've been here for probably about an hour, in this seat at least, and I just introduced myself to him. I wanted to find out where he's from, because he is obviously not from America. He's from Ethiopia. We didn't have a long extensive conversation, but we chatted about school, America, Europe, the usual. But it's probably the highlight of my day.
Everytime I talk with someone about going overseas, or talk to someone foreign, I feel like my heart is being reawakened. I am almost put back in Europe, where I would meet foreigners everyday. The mix of people and the intense amount of diversity made me feel alive. I absolutely love talking with people about their countries, lives, language, and whatever else it is that differs from my seemingly normal American life. It's incredible to me that people who are so different than me have this effect on me, but I'm beginning to think it's for a reason. I'm pretty sure I'm onto something here...
On another note, I had the opportunity to talk to a close friend of mine that I haven't seen in about 10 months the other day. She studied in Granada a year before me. Talking with her made me remember that my experience there was real. She validated all the feelings I have felt for the past 4 1/2 months about missing Granada, confusion about who I am now, and how to move forward. It's like she is reading my mind, literally. I think she might be the only person in America that truely understands how I feel. And I'm extremely thankful for her.
Back to homework I suppose. Que aburrido!!
08 October 2009
Un agujero en mi corazon
Palabra del dia: extrañar --> to miss
When I woke up this morning, it was raining. Not a hard rain, but a mist, with cloudy skies. I checked the temperature for today-- 55 degrees. First actual cold day of the season. This meant only one thing: no dress today. So I pulled out a turtleneck and my boots to make me feel sassy. The thing is that I haven't worn the turtleneck since I was in Granada. This is evidenced by the clothes pin marks on the bottom of the shirt, showing it had last been dried hanging outside my window in the Granada air. When I realized this, it all the sudden hit me. I'm Granada-sick. And it's bad.
Days like today make me think of Granada in a strong way. As I was walking to class, the clack-clack of my boots made me remember walking through the plazas on the way to class in Granada, my boots making the same distinct sound. Suddenly I was put right back there. Sitting at breakfast, eating the toast with strawberry jam that I came to crave each morning, and drinking my cafe con leche. Looking up to see Ma in the doorway, a smile and "buenas dias!" coming from her cheery self. I miss walking (half-sprinting because we were always late) to class with Ronni and Betsy, laughing and being the loud Americans we were told not to be. The people, the buildings, the birds, the flower salesman, the tile roads that my traction-free boots would almost make me wipe out on everyday, I miss it all. Hearing "hola guapa!" as I walk to class, feeling like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, even if the attention is only because I'm a blonde in a sea of brunettes. Greeting Hermi each morning, his half-smoked cigarette dangling in his hand, arms outstretched for a comforting hug. I've got it bad.
I thought that after almost 4 1/2 months, the same amount of time that I was in Granada, I would be okay. But I'm not. I thought I would go back to normal, but I was wrong. I admit, some of the changes in me are for the better, but that doesn't change the fact that it is different, very very different. I thought life, especially in a place as familiar as Jewell, would go back to normal. But it hasn't. And I don't think it will.
I feel like I'm biding my time, trying to soak up all the time with my friends during my last year here. I'm waiting for the day I can apply to go back to Spain. Not because I hate it here, but because a huge chunck of my heart is left there. I will return to claim it back. I have to.
Until then, I'll keep buying cheese that makes me think of Spain, wearing clothes with pin marks, and walk in boots that threaten to take my life each time I wear them, all so I can remember where I've been, and what I have to look forward to. Hasta luego...
When I woke up this morning, it was raining. Not a hard rain, but a mist, with cloudy skies. I checked the temperature for today-- 55 degrees. First actual cold day of the season. This meant only one thing: no dress today. So I pulled out a turtleneck and my boots to make me feel sassy. The thing is that I haven't worn the turtleneck since I was in Granada. This is evidenced by the clothes pin marks on the bottom of the shirt, showing it had last been dried hanging outside my window in the Granada air. When I realized this, it all the sudden hit me. I'm Granada-sick. And it's bad.
Days like today make me think of Granada in a strong way. As I was walking to class, the clack-clack of my boots made me remember walking through the plazas on the way to class in Granada, my boots making the same distinct sound. Suddenly I was put right back there. Sitting at breakfast, eating the toast with strawberry jam that I came to crave each morning, and drinking my cafe con leche. Looking up to see Ma in the doorway, a smile and "buenas dias!" coming from her cheery self. I miss walking (half-sprinting because we were always late) to class with Ronni and Betsy, laughing and being the loud Americans we were told not to be. The people, the buildings, the birds, the flower salesman, the tile roads that my traction-free boots would almost make me wipe out on everyday, I miss it all. Hearing "hola guapa!" as I walk to class, feeling like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, even if the attention is only because I'm a blonde in a sea of brunettes. Greeting Hermi each morning, his half-smoked cigarette dangling in his hand, arms outstretched for a comforting hug. I've got it bad.
I thought that after almost 4 1/2 months, the same amount of time that I was in Granada, I would be okay. But I'm not. I thought I would go back to normal, but I was wrong. I admit, some of the changes in me are for the better, but that doesn't change the fact that it is different, very very different. I thought life, especially in a place as familiar as Jewell, would go back to normal. But it hasn't. And I don't think it will.
I feel like I'm biding my time, trying to soak up all the time with my friends during my last year here. I'm waiting for the day I can apply to go back to Spain. Not because I hate it here, but because a huge chunck of my heart is left there. I will return to claim it back. I have to.
Until then, I'll keep buying cheese that makes me think of Spain, wearing clothes with pin marks, and walk in boots that threaten to take my life each time I wear them, all so I can remember where I've been, and what I have to look forward to. Hasta luego...
04 September 2009
Amor esta mejor
Palabra del dia: amistad --> friendship
My friends have never meant more to me in my life than they do right now. I am at a place where I want to run and explore and have an adventure. Certain things are confusing and muddled, and I can't seem to figure things out. Yet at the same time, I am completely content, and I seem to know what is going on. A huge part of me feeling like I'm going to be okay where I am is because of my friends. To be honest, I have been overwhelmed by the amount of love and friendship I have been shown since returning to Jewell, and I am incredibly thankful.
I believe love is a basic human need, and a right. Everyone deserves to be loved, and we need it in order to be healthy human beings. I have had two friends recently who are hurting badly because of circumstances, and all they need is love. They both need someone to pay attention to them, listen, have a shoulder to cry on, and just love them. Through it all, they have inspired me to be a better friend, and to simply love.
Because without love, we have nothing.
My friends have never meant more to me in my life than they do right now. I am at a place where I want to run and explore and have an adventure. Certain things are confusing and muddled, and I can't seem to figure things out. Yet at the same time, I am completely content, and I seem to know what is going on. A huge part of me feeling like I'm going to be okay where I am is because of my friends. To be honest, I have been overwhelmed by the amount of love and friendship I have been shown since returning to Jewell, and I am incredibly thankful.
I believe love is a basic human need, and a right. Everyone deserves to be loved, and we need it in order to be healthy human beings. I have had two friends recently who are hurting badly because of circumstances, and all they need is love. They both need someone to pay attention to them, listen, have a shoulder to cry on, and just love them. Through it all, they have inspired me to be a better friend, and to simply love.
Because without love, we have nothing.
17 August 2009
Es suficiente para mi.
Palabra del dia: gracia -->grace
For some reason, there is a big God in my life that likes me. Take that back, loves me. A big love too. I don't know why, and I can't figure it out. My religious past tells me why He loves me, that's good and all, but really? Why? I have done nothing to deserve this, and what's worse, sometimes I do things undeserving of His love. Actually, everyday. Every. Single. Day. Ridiculous.
But somehow, in the midst of all my failures, He continues to give me grace. Case in point: I tend to overlook things sometimes, er, many times. Like a deadline for a program that I am one year away from completing. I was informed of this deadline today, and actually already have things in the works to complete it. But there is only one reason why: grace. He's helping me figure things out, even though I don't deserve it, even though I haven't asked for it. Why? Grace, that's the only reason. Okay, I'll take it.
-------------------------------
Randomness:
I have an ant bite on my foot that has caused the whole upper part near my toes to swell. Little devils!!
I'll admit it, the last 2 1/2 months have been the hardest I have ever gone through. And not for any reasons that one might think. I haven't been impressed with the way I've handled it, or who I've been. But, it's looking up. And I'm going to figure out who I am, once again.
My brothers are some of my favorite people on this planet. They can make me laugh until I cry, get so angry I scream, and love me more than I could ask for. Thanks, brothers, for being you.
It's ice cream time!
For some reason, there is a big God in my life that likes me. Take that back, loves me. A big love too. I don't know why, and I can't figure it out. My religious past tells me why He loves me, that's good and all, but really? Why? I have done nothing to deserve this, and what's worse, sometimes I do things undeserving of His love. Actually, everyday. Every. Single. Day. Ridiculous.
But somehow, in the midst of all my failures, He continues to give me grace. Case in point: I tend to overlook things sometimes, er, many times. Like a deadline for a program that I am one year away from completing. I was informed of this deadline today, and actually already have things in the works to complete it. But there is only one reason why: grace. He's helping me figure things out, even though I don't deserve it, even though I haven't asked for it. Why? Grace, that's the only reason. Okay, I'll take it.
-------------------------------
Randomness:
I have an ant bite on my foot that has caused the whole upper part near my toes to swell. Little devils!!
I'll admit it, the last 2 1/2 months have been the hardest I have ever gone through. And not for any reasons that one might think. I haven't been impressed with the way I've handled it, or who I've been. But, it's looking up. And I'm going to figure out who I am, once again.
My brothers are some of my favorite people on this planet. They can make me laugh until I cry, get so angry I scream, and love me more than I could ask for. Thanks, brothers, for being you.
It's ice cream time!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)