24 December 2009

Te echo de menos.

Palabra del dia: descansar --> to rest

It's funny how things hit us at just the right time it seems, like a kind word, coffee with a friend, a Christmas bonus, or mono. Yes, that's right, mono. And strep too, if you want to be technical about it. For the past two weeks, I have been tired and sick. It allllll started with a golf ball sized swollen lymph node in my neck. I proceeded to buy a half gallon of orange juice and chug it at will, up my vitamins, and try to get extra sleep in an effort to heal my body before it could be taken down. But oh no, this sucker wasn't going to leave my body without a fair fight. Two weeks later the doctor confirmed what I suspected all along (thanks to my boyfriend who gave me the idea): strep and mono. Oh joy, just in time for Christmas.

But really, it couldn't have come at a better time. Kinda sorta, anyway. I don't have to deal with homework or finals or worry about infecting the people in my dorm. I actually have time to rest, sleep ungodly amounts during the day, and claim "mono!!" when the parents ask the kids to do chores. Although it does mean one thing: I can't go to Texas this Christmas to see my Dad's side of the family. Normally, this wouldn't sting so badly. But this year, there's something different. The new baby, the end of an era for me, the fact that for the past 15 years, my brother and I have trekked to Texas the day after Christmas, fighting snowy roads, long lines in the airport, and annoying travelers who are obviously unpracticed at flying. But this year, it will be different. And it hurts and it sucks and I hate it.

In all of this sickness and my intermittent naps, I have had a chance to think. A lot. I have one semester of college left. And that's scary. I have to find something to do that doesn't include William Jewell College next year. In one manner, the world is my oyster. I can do whatever I want. I can fly to Spain and teach for a year, I can establish myself near family and friends in KC, I can get a job in Texas and be close to family I've never had an opportunity to be close to before. If only someone would make the decision for me, that might just be easier. One thing I know for sure: I will not move back home unless absolutely necessary. I must move and live on my own and be independent.

I've also been thinking a lot, due to a brother of mine the same age as me getting married 3 days ago, about marriage. The conclusion I've come to: I am 22 years old. Ain't no way I'm getting married anytime soon. I am too young. I have so much ahead of me, and I am most definitely not ready to tie myself down. No way, no how.

Last thing: life just isn't fair, especially when you are a part of a blended family. For those of you who don't understand that lingo, it means step families. It's something I've come to accept and try to ignore, no matter how much it stares me in the face.

So for now, I'll go take another nap, eat another Christmas cookie, and wrap presents I've been procrastinating on. Merry Christmas!!

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